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  • “If Only You Knew” is told from the perspective of Xaviar, a Black male struggling with his own sexuality. The book, a “roman à clef,” allows the author, who goes only by the name Appollo, to open a window of understanding into Xaviar’s life and the complicated relationships he had with his father and brothers and the impact these relationships had on his life. The title refers to the invisible scars Apollo/Xaviar still carries and the internal courage that led to writing the book. Readers will gain insight into Xaviar’s childhood and his inability to express his true self for fear of enduring even greater abuse. Readers will see the importance of Xaviar’s mother, and the decisions and sacrifices she made to protect her son.A mother’s love, and the support of many along the way, gave Xaviar a chance to one day have the courage to live a life true to his inner light and honest about his sexual orientation. The book chronicles that journey with an authenticity that is borne by a writer who has seen the events shared with the reader.